The Day Orochimaru Lost His Arms
by RosaTheEvilGenius
Summary: As the title states. It's the day after his failed Konoha takeover. Orochimaru can't help but lament over the loss of his arms. Searching for a cure, me, Kabuto, and Orochimaru try to brainstorm ideas for possible options.


Alrighty, second submission! WOO! throws confetti All right, as usual, my works are submitted as means for comedic entertainment. Though probably not as good as my other story (Sasuke eating sugar) At least I try. Enjoy!

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The Day Orochimaru Lost His Arms

In the living room...

Orochimaru: "Well this sucks! Look at me! My arms are friggin' noodles! I can't flap them or anything! I'M HANDICAP FOR GOD'S SAKE!!"

Rosa: "Hey, at least it wasn't your entire soul he took out. You should be grateful to even be alive after that attempt of a village takeover."

Orochimaru: " I know, but still! Look at me!"Starts jumping up and down and arms flap lifelessly behind him. "SEE?! THEY'RE NOODLES!!" begins to bang head on wall. "WHY Bang MUST bang I bang BE bang HAND bang I bang CAP!! Bang ITS BANG SO BANG UN BANG FAIR!!! Bang WHY BANG WHY BANG WHY BANG WHY BANG WHY?!??!?!?! bangs head so much his forehead begins to bleed and he falls unconscious to the floor."

Rosa: "Whoa... (O.O)"

Orochimaru: (unconscious)

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Later that day in Orochimaru's office... 

Orochimaru is reading a book and turning the pages with his tongue  
Mysterious figure appears behind him and ties strings to his lifeless arms

Orochimaru: "I'll give you three seconds to untie me and leave my office Kabuto."

Kabuto: " Heh heh heh!! BEHOLD! THE PUPPET AND THE PUPPETEER!!!! begins to make Orochimaru's arms move up and down"

Orochimaru: "1...2...3!!!! RAWR!! clamps onto Kabuto's wrist and refuses to let go"

Kabuto: "AAAHHH! AAAHHH! AHAHAH!!! GET HIM OF OFF ME!! GET HIM OFF ME!!! runs out of office with Orochimaru still clamped onto his wrist. Runs down the hall into the living room yet again. ROSA!! HELP ME!! CALL HIM OFF!!"

Rosa: "You got yourself into that situation, now you're gonna' get yourself out."

Kabuto: "PLEASE!! HELP ME!!!"

Rosa: "Nope. You got brains, use 'em."

Kabuto grabs TV remote and begins hitting Orochimaru on the head with it. Orochimaru still refuses to let go. After over 100 blows to the head, Orochimaru finally lets go.  
Orochimaru: "I warned you. But you didn't listen."

Kabuto: "OH SHUT UP!! does hand signs and envelopes hand in green chakra. Uses chakra to heal the giant gashes where Orochimaru's fangs sunk in  
Rosa: " Here, clean yourself up." gives Orochimaru a napkin  
Orochimaru: "Thank you." wipes blood off  
Rosa: "So... You thought of any ways you could possibly get your arms back?"

Orochimaru: " Nope. I still got nothing."

Rosa: " Anybody you know who could help you?"

Orochimaru: " Well, I think Tsunade might know the reversal jutsu but I don't think she would be happy to see me."

Rosa: " What makes you say that?"

Orochimaru: " I don't know but I have that kind of feeling in my gut that if I were to go see her as of now, she might punch my face in."

Rosa: " Uh-huh... WAIT A MINUTE! If the Hokage knew how to perform the jutsu, he must have learned it from a scroll right?"

Orochimaru: " Yeah, and?"

Rosa: "And, if there is a scroll that teaches you the jutsu, there has to be a reversal jutsu for that scroll in case of anything, right?" Orochimaru: "You have a point."

Rosa: " So what I'm thinking is, that if I were to infiltrate the late Hokage's mansion, I can go into that grand scroll library of his, look around until I find it, and then take off!"

Orochimaru: "Not a bad idea! But what if there is no scroll to be found?"

Rosa: " Then I'll just have to go undercover."

Orochimaru: " As who then?"

Rosa: " I'll pretend to be a newcomer in the Village Hidden in the Leafs and see if I can have Tsunade as my teacher. If I can manage to make her spill the beans, I can learn how to perform it and then come back to help you out!"

Orochimaru: "BRILLIANT! Why didn't I think of that?"

Kabuto: "Because you lack the capacity to do so."

Orochimaru: "Quite you unless you want to end up like me."

Kabuto: "Yeah right, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

Orochimaru: " BRING IT!"

Kabuto: "IT'S ALREADY BEEN BRUNG!!"

Rosa: "ENOUGH!! If this plan is to succeed, I'm going to need both of your assistances. We prepare tonight and I leave tomorrow at dawn!"

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A/N: TO BE CONTINUED!! or will it be? I don't know. I'm kinda' on empty when it comes to the idea meter thanks to my stupid writer's block. God I hate that thing. Anyways, any and all ideas for future chapters are welcome! So please, do not hesitate to submit your ideas! 


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